December 1, 2015 – Get yourself some “Big Magic”

Lustina – I painted this in part while listening to Sue Monk Kidd’s “The Invention of Wings”

Listen to this post:

I love stories and I am compelled to expand my consciousness – which means I love books. But since becoming a watercolorist and artist, I don’t read actual, paper books like I used to. There is a voice in my head that tells me I could always be painting. The rest of life pulls me away from my painting time enough, so sitting to read a book hardly happens – except right before bed, when I get two pages in before falling asleep. It takes me months to finish a book these days. But – there are so many books that I want to read! Since I have the capacity to listen while I paint, I’ve become an audio-book-listener. When I look at certain paintings, I can recall the books I’ve listened to while I painted parts of them:

• “Late Summer Zin” was “The Help”
• “Dazzling” was “The Paris Wife”
• “Lustina” was “The Invention of Wings”
• “Jubilee” was “The Hundred Foot Journey”
• “Eternal” was “I Always Loved You” (about Mary Cassatt and Edgar Degas – a wonderful book)
• “Blush” was the first three seasons of “Downton Abbey” – I was just about the last person to fall in love with the series. One evening in December 2013 I binged listened (mostly) while I painted on the glass vase. I had my iPad propped up on the painting and I glanced over now and then to see what was happening. You’d never know by looking at that part of the painting!

Right now I’m still working on the red-pink-orange roses, and last night, started listening to Elizabeth Gilbert read to me her new book called, “Big Magic.” I’m completely hooked. She is, like I am, a student and curious observer of the creative process, and I’m having a twinge of book envy. I am in no way the writer she is (nor should I be – I have been writing just a few years as compared to her whole life). My appreciation is way bigger than my envy though – I’m completely emboldened by her words – and somehow even more so listening to her, as opposed to reading. I love having her tell me all about how she sees creativity, and how she holds the art-making process. My philosophy is exactly hers, which is incredibly affirming. I know she’d applaud what I find myself saying to those of you, who paint with me in our time together.

I read her blockbuster book “Eat, Pray, Love” in 2006 while we were living at my parents, while our house was being remodeled. It, along with Sue Monk Kidd’s “The Dance of the Dissident Daughter,” got me through that stressful time. Not only were we remodeling, but I was Worship Committee Chair, while the pastor of my church at the time was on sabbatical – there were 20 Sundays that year we had to plan for without her, I was writing the church newsletter, I was in a demanding 10-month-long leadership program and I was a relatively new real estate agent, with anxious clients whose house wasn’t selling, as the market had just peaked. After dinner, while the TV was on in another part of the house, I cuddled up in bed and fell into Italy, then India, then Indonesia and her funny-wise writing.

Neither of the books she’s written since have called to me to read, but reading the first part of “Big Magic” got me. The way she talks about creativity, is incredibly energizing to me. And – freeing. Here’s how she is preaching to the choir:

• There aren’t creative people and non-creative people. By virtue of the fact that we exist, we are creative. We are wired to make things.
• We are not geniuses so much as have them. Ancient Romans thought that geniuses were separate entities outside of us that visit upon us – taking all the credit as well as pressure away from us. Yay! Freedom to just make stuff – “good” or… not so “good.”
• She quotes the poet David Whyte with the phrase “the arrogance of belonging” and gives us permission, if we feel we lack it, in doing so gives a whole new spin on “entitlement.”
• There’s no requirement for us to save or even change the world with our work, it’s enough to simply enjoy it. Phew, I can just paint pretty pictures – I don’t have to make any “statement” or push any boundaries with what I paint.
• Ideas are living things separate from us that want to become manifest in the physical world. If we are faithful to our process of creating, they will see that we are serious enough about what we are doing for them to come through us.

And I’m not quite half way through the book.

I’m not sure that this book will revolutionize how I live my creative life – so much of it (so far) is right where I live. But already, I’m emboldened to get on with the idea that came to me last week – to find friendly places for me to leave stacks of calendars with envelopes, for people to mail me a check – on the honor system. I was all excited about the idea, and then hit a snag and doubt has crept in. But, I’m going to take action on this idea today. (There are SO many calendars still for me to find homes for!). If I look at my art as the work of my (external) inspiration, it’s my job to make it and see it into the world, if that’s what is in me to do with it.

It’s also calming down the “ee-gads” going on inside me, in reaction to what I’m doing with this painting above. Out of a conversation with someone, who is looking for a painting for his wife for Christmas, I realized I needed to do something else with the background. The roses partly painted, I’ve stepped back from them and stripped away the dark green and blue background down, to as much bare paper as I can (without destroying it!). And now I’m painting in a fuzzy background. The lower part is coming out ok – though I do need to make the leaves and stems more well-defined. But I wanted to put in some sunlit leaves at the top. What I’m finding, is that the paper really needs to be white, in order for the glow of yellow and yellow green to come through. The stain in the paper wasn’t allowing it to. So, I’m working with opaque paints and even some white gouache. It’s an entirely different deal – white from paint, not paper – just like painters of all other media use. It’s an experiment. I’m not sure it’s going to work and I’m sticking with it. I’m learning how to work with gouache, and I have a fresh appreciation for the way pure watercolor on white paper, portrays luminosity. There is – and will be – plenty of white-paper-luminosity in the roses and in any case, I’m hearing my own words: “it’s just a piece of paper, not my self-worth.”

We’ll see what happens. Maybe by next week I’ll have it done to share with you. I know I’ll have listened to the rest of “Big Magic.”

If you are looking for encouragement or permission to give yourself over to your creative life, or to give yourself to your creative life more, get yourself “Big Magic.” And then – go make stuff!

Love,

Cara