December 8, 2015 – Are you in it for the long haul?

I’m being faithful to the process of this painting and the rhythm of my life – not much progress and I WILL finish it!

Listen to this post:

I have a relatively new dear friend. She and her family live on the next street over. Bo and I walk by their house, when we go up the hill for our hikes most days. She’s smart and awake and real, and we automatically became friends. She has a sweet (little) dog too. and sometimes our schedules meet so we can hike with our pups together. Last Friday was one of those days. She is a savvy businessperson who loves marketing. I have this drive to expand the impact of my work, so on Friday I was happily lapping up her advice and suggestions – until she suggested creating an event, a class, for people who are bored and might want to learn to watercolor.

I found myself getting snagged on the thought of it. It brought to mind the events that are popping up all over, where people go to a restaurant or bar – or wine bar for an evening of painting and drinking. The artist-instructor gives them all a canvas (usually) some paints and an idea to paint from – a seascape, a piece of fruit – basically a template for them to follow. These events seem to be designed for those who have never painted before – giving them a whole new experience. They get to take home a painting, finished in an evening – happy and proud – or at least (hopefully) having had a good time with their friends. It’s been suggested to me more than once, that I see about putting together this kind of event.

As much as it’s a fabulous way to introduce new people to making art and for the artist to find new potential students, it’s not me and I can’t see myself doing this. I am always willing to look at my own resistance – sometimes it’s based in a keep-me-safe-from-too-much-risk kind of fear. But in this case it’s protective in another way. It’s keeping me from going down the wrong track. I’m not that teacher. I don’t make quickie art, I can’t make quickie art, so I can’t teach – or lead – quickie art experiences.

All of this was behind my getting snagged on her idea. She asked me then, what is you? I said I want to teach or rather guide people, who have a hunger to make art. If it’s not a hunger, it is at least a desire. I’m here for those who want to have making art a regular part of their lives, and who share my love of watercolor.

This past summer, I had the experience of being hired to teach someone to paint, who either didn’t have the hunger, or more likely I’m guessing, didn’t have ready access to it. I’m always compelled to provide what’s lacking, so I found myself feeling the need to generate the energy for the art to come out of her. It didn’t work. And from this experience I got that it doesn’t work this way – in general. No teacher, mentor, guide can provide the impetus to do our work. It must come from us. Creativity comes from the un-manifest world through us. And its energy, its fuel is our desire, it’s the “I want to…” that we hear coming out of our mouths.

People who have this hunger are my people. I didn’t set out to lead groups of watercolorists. But doing so, has not only become a major part of my work life, one of the biggest ways I serve the world, but has revealed to me what I do have to offer – the gifts that I’ve been given to share with others. And all of this has come to be, because of the desire in the core group of women who were there at the start. They called me out of my fears. Their desire to take their paintings to another level, created an environment for them (through me) for that to happen. See how powerful the creative force is? It can even change others’ lives!

In the process, they showed me who I am to serve and how. As much as I love leading my color class, I love sharing the information that empowers people, to have more freedom and confidence with color – a mainstay of our work, I’m made for my on-going groups. I am made to accompany people along the often bumpy road to a finished painting. The way that I – and most of the people who paint with me – work, it takes considerable time for our paintings to start to looking like “something.” Along the way inside our heads, are noisy places.

It is for this reason, that I’m hesitant to “demo” painting techniques. For me, it doesn’t work like it did for dear, departed Bob Ross, and his “happy trees” that came out of his brush so automatically. There are stages in my paintings that are awkward and clearly unfinished-looking. To my eye, these parts look like I don’t know what I’m doing – and I worry that people watching will think this too! When I do demonstrate, I talk about how I actually often don’t know what I’m doing, that we all are finding our way through our paintings. My intention – and hope – is that this will normalize the self-doubt and internal chatter for them. If I do what I do, if I paint what I paint while these “noisy” voices echo in my head, then you can too.

In my web wanderings in the past day, I came upon this article about Parker Palmers commencement address at Naropa University. He talks about taking on big jobs worth doing – like spreading love and peace and justice, which means resisting being caught up in our cultural obsession, with effectiveness in terms of short-term results.

“Our heroes take on impossible jobs and stay with them for the long haul because they live by a standard that trumps effectiveness. The name of that standard, I think, is faithfulness — faithfulness to your gifts, faithfulness to your perception of the needs of the world, and faithfulness to offering your gifts to whatever needs are within your reach.”

For me, a life-worth-living means taking this advice. Spreading love, peace and justice are big, impossible jobs in our world full of violence and suffering. But if the gifts we are given include making paintings that beget love, peace and justice – in the form of watercolor paintings, then this is our “impossible job” to take on.

Working on a piece of art, or a making art becoming your life, takes this same faithfulness. It takes faithfulness to stick with and/or come back to work over a period of time – which for some of us is months and months. This isn’t everyone’s way of working, but it’s ours. And if you have this hunger and the faithfulness to follow it, paint! Bring forth the art that is in you! And let me know, if there’s some way I can help you.

With my love,

Cara

PS: I know some of you have requested this help in the form of video recordings from me – instructing you how to paint. The desire to fill these requests is in me. And I’m still sorting out what form that will take. This is my creative challenge. Though it may not appear so, solving this creative problem is in the hopper. Any specific suggestions as to what you want from me (especially given what I’ve shared here, about being more of a guide than a teacher) are heartily welcome. Your desires have power to manifest themselves through me!