July 7, 2015 – Being is believing

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This past weekend was our annual summertime county fair. The Marin County Fair has a very fine Fine Art Exhibition – people involved in putting it on say it’s the best in the state – or even the country. I have no idea how true this is, but I do know it’s always an exceptional show. Juried by artists from outside our area, it receives thousands of pieces of artwork from artists from all over the Bay Area and a much smaller number are accepted for the five-day show.

This is where I first publicly showed my work – Paris Roses was accepted in this exhibit in 2006. My watercolors have been so very well recognized in the years since. I’ve been Artist of the Year, received the special, Barbara McQuaid award, received three First Place, Watermedia ribbons, a Second place and a number of Honorable Mentions and sponsored awards.

But this year was by far the most gratifying for me. There were 26 watercolors that were accepted by 12 of the artists who paint with me. Twelve artists! Some of them have had work in the fair for longer than I have, but for some of them, this was their first time entering. My mom and I each had three pieces too, bringing the number of watercolor paintings in the show to 31 that were connected, in part, to 537 Magnolia Avenue in Larkspur – where we gather to paint almost every week.

It was almost surreal for me to walk through the exhibit and see all this beautiful artwork that I witnessed coming to be – and even more incredible that that the artists who painted them entrusted me to ask for my input along the way. It occurred to me through this experience that we have become a community.

So, we’ve been playing with calling ourselves the “537 Magnolia Painters” inspired by Dave Egger’s 826 Valencia in the city (San Francisco), the space he created to support young writers. The recognition that we are a community has come from outside us too. Charlie Barboni, the Fair Manager has invited the group of us to do a floral show in the large passageway outside the fair office where the Showcase Theater is. For any of you who went to the fair, it’s where the art chair exhibit was this past weekend. We’re going to have our first collective show this summer!

This September will mark four years that I’ve been leading these groups, which has given me the opportunity to observe the inner process that we all go through as we make art. I’ve also read some of what others have to say about it. Steven Pressfield’s “The War of Art” sparked the idea that we don’t choose the art we make, it chooses us. What seems to have happened now, is that I’ve formed a philosophy about how we are best treated as we go through the vulnerable process of learning our craft (which is never-ending) allowing us to reveal the artwork that is in us. And I am certain that this has helped to form the community that has gathered at 537 Magnolia.

All of this has connected to something that I read in a recent Kelly Flanagan post. He wrote about friendship and the impact of someone believing in him. It changes who we are and what we are capable of to have someone believe in us. I see how strongly I believe in the artists in this community – often before they believe in themselves. I’ve written plenty in this space about the voices in our heads that seem to interfere in the process of our making our artwork – which can be especially intrusive at first, before we have any proof that there’s any reason for our efforts! Believing in ourselves when we are starting out can be really hard! Having a strong desire to make art that is really pleasing to us just makes it harder. We care a whole lot about the outcome, and our early work can sometimes be far from what we want it to look like.

I know I’m not alone in being constrained by the “who are you to…?” voice inside. That voice has its place – to keep us safe. But it makes believing in ourselves impossible at times. I don’t go it alone either. I’m part of a coaching group that meets over the phone every other week to share our challenges and successes as we create our work in the world. My coach, Lissa Boles and my coaching “sisters” – as we call each other – believe in me before I can in myself.

And, what is occurring to me now is how it has changed me to believe in these artists who form this community. It seems rather natural to believe in someone who believes in themselves. There’s a confidence, a flow to enter into. But, it takes boldness, even audacity to believe in someone in the face of their not believing in themselves. There has to be some-one doing the believing – to have a sort of internal solidness to anchor this position. I get to say that I you matter to me, and what you are up to matters to me and that it is absolutely worth your doing – and then sharing it with the world.

I was introduced to the idea of sovereignty by Mark Silver, a business coach who is also a Sufi master. And I love this idea – a state, a country, of me. I looked it up – here are some synonyms: autonomy, independence, self-government, self-rule, self-determination, freedom. Maybe because I’m a feminine creature, oriented to what’s outside me, and maybe it’s just how I came through in this life, but I’ve spent most of my life so far from the idea that I could be sovereign. It’s a remarkable experience to be growing into it now.

I feel a sense of real strength – a sense that who I am has impact – as I embody my philosophy of how artists are best supported and by believing in them. It even helps me know that I exist in a more real way. I know I am because I’m someone who believes in others. Sunday I spent a lot of the day organizing photos on my computer. I take pictures of everyone’s paintings each week, as they are in process. Among them were many work-in-progress photos of the same beautiful paintings I saw on the walls of the exhibit hall the day before. It is such an honor to be witness to all of this – the unfolding of the paintings and their creators. I can’t imagine a better way to spend this life.

Love,

Cara