Jubilee

Original Sold

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Archival Print Sizes/Prices:

29″x41″ – $650

21″x30″ – $495

14″x20″ – $250

7″x11″ – $85

It was about six in the evening in early April 2014 and I was driving home from Joe’s office. The sun low in the sky, driving by St. Raphael’s church in San Rafael, the light on these Joseph’s Coat roses pulled my car over to the side of the street. Good thing there were empty spaces at the curb! A thought flew by about my impulsiveness and I hopped out and took a bunch of photos with my iPhone. One of the three of this series had to be painted! I messed with the image in Photoshop, combining bits from other views and moved a couple things around.

There is a story to how this painting got its name. Nineteen years ago Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Stones in the Road album was the soundtrack to my divorce. The song “(The) Jubilee” met my heart’s desire for my soon-to-be-former husband to come home to “the Jubilee” instead of wandering in the spiritual wilderness in pain. But this is something we can only wish for each other – we each have our own path. Fast forward (very fast) to the summer of 2014, I saw myself as the wilderness wanderer. We were on vacation in Tahoe and the subject came up of an event that I regret more than anything I’d ever done – something I was continuing to torture myself over. The next morining while I was working on this painting and “Jubilee” came up in my playlist.

For the first time, I heard the song being sung to me. I was the one being invited to the land of forgiveness and freedom. Through plenty of tears and a few chuckles, I realized how for more than 50 years I’ve lived this life with a tyrannical compulsion to be perfect, and a fierce resistance to ever see myself as anything less than. If I said or did something wrong, or God-forbid, was human enough to hurt someone, I hung myself from the hook forever. Jubilee is forgiveness of debt, freedom from slavery and a big, huge celebration – every 50 years.

I was asked why I’d included the faded, floppy rose in the composition. Besides it being super fun to paint – all those curls, colors and splotches, it needed to be here. It’s not the “perfect” rose – and it makes this painting for me – it is its soul. The promise of the bud is sweet, and has its place. But the Jubilee really lives in the rose that has lived more of its life and is still connected to a vine that is hanging from a wooden cross (which I didn’t realize until later!) lit through by the evening sun. Today, for me, that’s perfection.

July-August 2014 – 29″x41″ – Watercolor on paper